Is it really YOUR success?

Sounds weird when I say it, but nowadays we are bombarded with recipes for success. It's great, getting some inspiration, motivation, ideas - but what I see more and more is people obsessing over a steps that other people took to be successful. 

How many times you have seen 'Do these 5 things during your workout to grow the muscle' or 'Follow these steps, and earn £1,000,000 before 35'? Surely, you need to buy a book for this secret recipe. My favourite one actually is Dale Carnegie's advice of 'saying people's name a lot, as they love to hear it' - that would definitely make you successful!

These are all great tips from people who achieved success, but surely we will be fooling ourselves that just by replicating few steps of their journey we will achieve success of their magnitude. 

Their success is THEIRS! They may have had different circumstances, resources, knowledge, opportunities, markets were in different place or they were lucky. Trying to achieve other's people success is not only uncertain, but also daunting. Are you really thinking that low of yourself that you can't come up with your own definition of success? Find what works for you and keep getting inspired and motivated by other successful people BUT use it to fuel your own success. 

LET'S START BY CLARIFYING YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF SUCCESS:

1. What's YOUR definition of success?

Let's get this right, what do you define as success? Being rich? How rich? Is there any measure or monetary value of being rich. Is earning £5,000 a month being rich? Is it now or will it be when you have to support your family? Or you want to make it big time? What is big time? Do you want to be important and have a significant say in your profession? Do you want to influence people? Can you be any more specific about what YOU define as success?

2. Do you understand consequences of this success?

As important as achieving success is living with consequences of it. Are you really prepared to put the work every day for next 40 years, to achieve what you want? Do you understand that by becoming a self- made millionaire you will probably have no personal life? Take Elon Musk, who absolutely MADE it. Genius, entrepreneur, doing things that people couldn't have imagined. He barely sleeps and if he does it will be in the production plant... I am not saying that's not great - I am saying - do you like consequences of your choices? 

3. It's fine to change and adapt

You will be trying, discovering and gaining knowledge. Maybe this will allow you to better understand your choices. Since I was a child, I was always stimulated to become a doctor, surgeon - you name it. This was the only direction that I knew and it was great. I had a goal and passionately work towards it. One day I decided to stress-test my goals and take up volunteer work at the hospital. Guess what? That was not a life that I could set myself out for. It was too overwhelming to look at people's misery and pain. It was time to redefine my understanding of success. And no learning is ever wasted if you take what you need from it and apply it to the things that matter now. 

4. What if I don't have any passion?

That's fine. Most people don't have true passion that will allow them to make significant living out of it. You can always start with end goal in mind, but taking 'consequences' of your choices into consideration. What life do I want for myself? Do I want to be busy, surrounded by people, having significant influence and work hard? Do I want flexible life, where I don't spend 90 hours a week in the office. Define it. What life will make you happy? Living fulfilled life that you actually enjoy is way more important that achieving something. Success will make you happy for a moment but creating life for yourself - ultimately fulfilled. I've seen people stepping down as CEOs, consultants that were making millions moving into small businesses, just so they can have freedom, flexibility and no pressure. They understood that 'making it' did not bring happiness itself. Life is a journey, so enjoy the views. 

5. Forget about other people 

Have you ever feel fuelled to smash your goals, just to prove something to others? This unhealthy rivalry will also get you nowhere. People will stop caring and you will live with the choices that you made long term. Your life is only yours and no one will live it for you. People may push you, cheer-lead you, envy you - but none of that matters if you are miserable. No one has to approve your goals, and judge if they are ambitious enough. Success is only a success if YOU enjoy it.